Mamma Miasmic

Why does IKEA have an international reputation, while Jernia struggles to even make an annual profit? Why is Zlatan lauded as a world-class footballer, with a lucrative underwear range, while Alexander Søderlund has never played in the Premier League and can't so much as get his name on a pair of socks? Why do children around the world still read Astrid Lindgren, without knowing a single line by Inger Hagerup?

Clearly, these questions are unanswerable. Or answerable only if one recognises a disconcerting conspiracy to favour all things Swedish over all things Norwegian, even when the Norwegian equivalents are openly superior.

A recent visit to the wonderful Bømlo Arts Centre confirmed that this conspiracy extends even into the world of the popular musical. Rather than being gifted with the opportunity to watch Take On Mia: The A-Ha Story or enjoy the darker tones of Knowing Me, Knowing Euronymous: 30 years of Mayhem, I was forced to sit through a discordant medley of hits by three talentless Swedes (carried by a single gifted half-Norwegian).

This trite tale of finding love on a picturesque island pales in comparison to, taking just one example, the Homeric epic of M2M's long and dramatic friendship and rivalry. Who in their right mind would pay to watch a group of overpaid young actors cavorting in some bland bacchanalia with local livestock to the throbbing of a schlager soundtrack?

But no! Only the perfidious Swedes get their day on stage at Bømlo's majestic Arts Centre. Friends, we must boycott this national disaster. Those fine blonde actors and actresses (Anita Skornossensen gives a particularly fine performance as Agnetha) must look out into an empty sea of seats, and Sweden's dreck must look towards an empty future, as Norway assumes its rightful place in the order of nations.

Special offer! Bømlo Review of Books readers can purchase tickets to Mamma Mia! at the Bømlo Arts Centre at a 5% discount. Go to the box office and use the code "BRB<3MammaMia"