Letters, Vol 1 No. 3

Cease and desist

It was with a feeling of anger bordering on disgust that I was recently pointed to your publication, which you insist on calling the "Bømlo Review of Books." Let me enlighten you on a little recent history: after a consumer survey of under-served needs in Sunnhordland, a small group  of childhood friends (myself, Kåre Sortland, Stig Sortland, and Rolf Svortland), supported by a token grant of 17 million kroner from our dear Norwegian government, started a new publication in beloved Bømlo. For far too long, Bømlo residents interested in the packaging and container sector had nowhere to turn for honest, unbiased, and (most importantly) in-depth reviews of rectangular cardboard containers. It was thus with great love and even greater fanfare that our beloved Bømlo Review of Box was launched some 9 months ago.

It goes without saying that consumers are liable to to be confused between our two titles, and that since your own one was released as much as a month after ours you are legally required to alter your title to avoid infringement.

Once you do so I will wish you the best for your quaint publication: the topic is certainly niche, but there's space for everyone in this world, so long as that "everyone" is not a name-thief.

Jan Sortland
Bømlo

EDITORS' NOTE: While the intellectually-challenged readers of BRBox might not be able to distinguish books from box, we feel confident that the sophisticated subscribers of the True BRB will not be confused on this matter.

What's in a name?

During a recent google search for the BRB, I was dismayed to discover your publication dangerously close to the first page of the results. I'm not a reader of your lame excuse for a literary digest myself, and never will be, but I felt it pertinent to fill you in on some facets of the independent journal scene in Bømlo.

A recent survey clearly indicated that Bømlo-based consumers required more extensive technological coverage, especially now that several respected international commentators are referring to Bømlo as "the Silicon Valley of Sunnhordland." In particular, consumers were interested in AI programmes designed to interact with internet users.

Consequently, I received a government grant of 17.5 million kroner to found the Bømlo Review of Bots. The name of the review is, of course, copyrighted, as is the use of the BRB logo. If you persist in infringing our rights, I will have no option other than to use cease and desist demands.

Jan Åge Svortland
Bømlo

EDITORS' NOTE: While the intellectually-challenged readers of BRBots might not be able to distinguish books from bots, we feel confident that the sophisticated subscribers of the True BRB will not be confused on this matter.

Søra spot

As a long-standing supporter of the fine arts and The Review in particular, it is with a heavy hand I must henceforth cancel my subscription to what at its inception promised to be a publication of unsurpassed importance to the literary community of the majestic isle from whence it purports to take its name.

As Theodor Adorno so rightly highlighted, the arts –– and, notte benne, among them perhaps principally the literary arts, present a unique mirror image of the social structure and politics of all of humanity. This is manifested in the dialectical double reconstruction whereby modern art reifies our philosophical aesthetics while simultaneously (pun intended) our philosophy captures the essence of what exists solely within the arts. As such, I see it as a grave offence to the readers of the journal, as individuals and as a collective body politic, that the editorial staff attempts to get away with such overt political subterfuge as to pretend that the Bømlo Review of Books is the correct medium for a personal ad from Søra Bømlo.

The morally barren areas to the south of Bømlo were foisted upon us in 1963, and I will be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Moster!!

Brynjar Svortland
Sortland, BØMLO!

Disgrace

Stalin; Attila the Hun; Gengis Khan; The Bømlo Review of Books. Your new "series", View from the East, puts you squarely among history's greatest monsters. "Giving Oslo-based writers a chance to publish" in a Bømlovenn publication? The only "chance" these Oslovenn writers need is the chance to poke their own eyes out with a stick.

Brynjar Svortland
Sortland, BØMLO!!!!!!!!!!!